After work my parents took me to Conrad Jupiters Casino and instead of breaking my heart and wallet, I decided to put my money to better use, for my taste buds that is, not so much for my belly. I'm expanding by the minute, soon I'm gonna have to trade in my shorts for mum jeans, my skinny jeans for sweat pants, and my skirts for overalls.
For four people we got a Beef Burger w/chips and a Club Sandwich w/chips. That makes it sounds a whole lot better when I say it was for four people. But if we're being honest, I had the whole beef burger to myself and ate half the plate of chips ＿|￣|○ and before devouring that, I engulfed a plate of cheese and crackers... like a lot.
Regrets ensue quickly after and my mind set of dieting quickly dissipates. Diets can go SUCK IT! yeahhh I'm just gonna continue to gain weight at a alarming rate until I'm too heavy, big, and FAT to even be on the television show; biggest loser. When that day comes, I'm hoping euthanasia is legal and I would be eligible, who am I kidding, I'd definitely be eligible. Or plan B: rely on my friends to purchase a bazooka and bazooka the crap outta me. Why a bazooka? Well cause bazookas are freaking cool, I wanna kick this mortal coil in a firry blaze, and because a bazooka, next to a nuclear bomb or my own farts, might be the only thing by then to actually be able to take me out. I'm guessing a nuclear bomb may be a tad difficult to obtain considering the government may consider it a national threat but then again my overwhelming size would be too. And my farts that are pretty par and par with a nuclear bomb, a nuclear bomb being less deadly and easier to contain. Well by the time I reach the size I'm imaging, I don't think the gaseous excretion would even make it over my protective seeping fat rolls. The only way would be to contain the 'funk' and climb my quick-sand-like legs, rock climb my rock hard 6-pack abs that's cover by jello like blubber, get past months old leftovers that's crusted under my armpits, try not to get sucked in by the invisible neck and vortex like nostrils. Once reaching the nostrils, you'd have to release the 'funk' and hopefully not die from the scent yourself. So yeahhh, I'd go with bazooka.
Food makes me go on tangents and talk about weird crap lol so let's not listen to me anymore.
I'm gonna go eat another chip now.
I just ate another chip.
Bigger and bigger and biggerrr.
From this ' 。' to this 'ε=ε=ε=◎' the double circle for the seeping rolls and the backwards three represent the deadly 'funk'
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